Boundaries & Consequences

 I'm told that being able to set boundaries is essential, or at least a good tool to have, for one's mental health.

While this issue is relatively new to to me personally, I can see the benefit to not end up being someone's door mat or punching bag.

However, I haven't been able to locate an article or a study on the consequences of setting boundaries. I cannot think of one single thing in life that comes without any consequences, whether intended or not, whether good or bad. There are series of articles on setting boundaries with addicts, spouses with addiction, children, teenagers, etc. But nothing on what happens with the person to whom you established the boundary. What if they retaliate? What if they decide they don't want the boundaries that have been established? What then?

As the person who usually is getting "boundaried" by my spouse what I am to do after the fact? Just accept that this is my new reality and go on about my day? Do I get to have any sort of discussion at all? It doesn't seem that way to me, at least the manner in which the boundaries are being doled out against me.

It often feels like the boundary-setting is being used as a cudgel to beat me over the head when I don't act in a given way. That is manipulation and control plain and simple.